Friday 22nd August 2008

The alarm goes off at stupid o’clock. I stumble about getting ready, gulp down a can of Kick (Tesco’s imitation Red Bull) then blob in front of the TV with a cuppa waiting for Dad to come and pick us up. The lead story on the news is about a plane crash in Spain. How very auspicious. I turn the TV off.

Dad gets us to Birmingham airport in plenty of time and we join the rather long check-in queue. A woman approaches to ask if we checked in online. Mrs G has done this and, being the ultra-organised person that she is, instantly produces two beautifully printed boarding cards and we find ourselves in a queue of one. We pass through security easily, grab a bite to eat and are fairly quickly settled on the 757 which takes off pretty much on time.

The entertainment provided on-board is far superior to anything I’ve encountered before. Each passenger has their own screen (operated by touch) with a choice of free films, TV programmes, music and games, all available on demand. We don’t even have to pay for the headphones.

The screen also enables us to pull up various details of our flight such as altitude, speed, temperature, travel time, etc. The world map flashes up and shows the plane’s current position. This initially causes consternation for Mrs G as she mistakes Mexico for Italy. I help her overcome her geographical inadequacies and all is well as she can now watch a girlie film with complete peace of mind.

The first meal we are served is much better quality than what you’d expect to receive in a hospital. Some sort of chicken dish. Normally, these can be quite challenging to eat as the plastic cutlery usually provided is rarely up to the task of making an impression on the foodstuff. Fortunately, Continental Airlines have provided metal cutlery in a plastic bag. Unfortunately, the bag is unsealed at one end so the knife and fork plunge (sharp side down) into my lap piercing my nadgers. Once the other passengers and I have recovered from the shock of this I am able to enjoy the food.

I start a book called Quirkology by Richard Wiseman which I borrowed from my parents’ toilet. Here I learn the story of serial murderer John Gacy. “Gacy was a sadistic killer who received twelve death sentences and twenty-one life terms for the torture and killing of thirty-three men and boys.” In his spare time he dressed up as Pogo the Clown and performed at children’s birthday parties. Srsly!

As we approach Newark Liberty International Airport we can see the Empire State Building and The Statue of Liberty. We touch down at 12:00 pm local time and are seen by Customs and Border Protection (Department of Homeland Security) an hour later. The folk we see are very pleasant and upon learning that we will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary in December state that “Snoop Dogg has nothing on you.”

A mere fifteen minutes or so later the driver from Continental Limousines greets us and we are soon being driven along Henry Hudson Parkway, then through The Bronx and on to Connecticut.

We arrive at Yale Divinity School, New Haven around 4:00 pm and are eventually greeted and taken to our apartment. Although the rooms are furnished we are missing some fairly essential items like bedding, towels, food and toilet paper. Justin (who has brought us to the apartment) offers to give us a lift so we can buy supplies.

We have a quick freshen-up, unpack and rearrange the furniture to Mrs G’s specifications (just what I felt like doing after being on the go for umpteen hours) and then Justin picks us up, gives us a whirlwind tour of Yale and New Haven and takes us to Walmart.

Shopping always perks Mrs G up and $130.00 later we have enough stuff to get us through a couple of days. Justin drops us off, we make the bed, have a cuppa and finally settle down around 9:30 pm (2:30 am UK time) to sleep.

And then we hear the crickets. BASTARDOS!!!